every now then and again

every now then and again... i just get this weird feeling... and i am not sure how to really discribe it. in defintion of terms... lonliness. i know i am loved, but i dont feel (i cant think of which word to fit here)... maybe safe. i got friends; tons of them but honestly i still feel alone around them-even sitting right next to them. we watched now and then. it was my 1st time and i liked it. there was just some moments in the film when all i wanted to do was cry. no one would understand why because i cant just go explain it-and now i am in a funk. something about arizona makes me want to change so much and just leave and go. i think i was maybe a bit let down by people seeing lc. i dunno.. it just felt unusual. i wonder how much my friends will think of me and miss me when i leave. i know they can tell me they will but it seems so hard for me to believe even if it is true. i guess ill just have to wait and let time tell.