This year was different in many ways. I have made a list of some hard things & also a list of the amazing things that happened this year.
Hard things:
cutting off a friend
car accident
stepping down from YL
moving
loss of a friend.
Great things:
arizona trip
26th birthday
sister's graduation
nielsen wedding
woodleaf
summer solstice party
lynch wedding
roberts wedding
booth baby shower
needtobreathe concert on a boat!
project connect
luehmann & harrison photo shoots
sdsu Christmas Party
friends Christmas
Columbian induced NYE
12.27.2011
12.07.2011
Grace has found me just as I am
Grace existed before you, the reader and I were born- way before we came out of the womb. Best way I can think of it, is that grace is God’s half and faith is ours. Faith is our response to what God has already bestowed upon us with grace. Grace and faith work together. “For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast. " Ephesians 2:8-9ESV God gets the glory, all of it. Phillip Yancey in What’s So Amazing About Grace writes, “Grace does not depend on what we have done for God but rather what God has done for us. Ask people what they must do to get to heaven and most reply, ‘Be good.’ Jesus' stories contradict that answer. All we must do is cry, ‘Help!’ “ Yancey is so on point with this. There is nothing we can do on our end outside of accepting the gift of grace, being forgiven and turning our path every time towards Christ in obedience. According to Yancey “Repentance, not proper behavior or even holiness, is the doorway to grace. And the opposite of sin is grace, not virtue.”
Grace seemed so indescribable- or so I thought until my Pastor, Ben Brinkman, painted a perfect picture for us kinesthetic type of learners out there. I paint, I create art so when we talk canvas, I comprehend it. Grace is when you mess up, you come to the Lord and repent, he forgives you, but He doesn’t just erase what was painted. We all know that erasers leave smudges or that nasty rubbery smell and strings. No. None of that. The Lord throws away that canvas, brings out a new canvas and begins to paint and create all over again. Grace is that part, I’m sure you missed that. It’s the part where He doesn’t erase it, He throws it away. Did you hear me? He starts over with you. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. " 1 Corinthians 5:17 Grace isn’t second, third, fourth chances. Grace is the first time every time. I firmly agree with Yancey that “one who has been touched by grace will no longer look on those who stray as ‘those evil people’ or ‘those poor people who need our help.’ Nor must we search for signs of ‘loveworthiness.’ Grace teaches us that God loves because of who God is, not because of who we are.’ “ Ye He loves me.Although grace is given out freely with a new canvas, it is not “cheap grace.” Dietrich Bonhoeffer, in his book, The Cost of Discipleship, defines “cheap grace” as “The preaching of forgiveness without requiring repentance, baptism without church discipline, communion without confession. Cheap grace is grace without discipleship, grace without the cross, grace without Jesus Christ.” Yes grace is unmerited, but it does still have a cost. I used to think that people would take advantage of grace and use it as a justification to live recklessly. Many Christians ignore the bible verse that states grace is “training us to renounce ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age." Titus 12WSV
Grace, seems as though it has become a get-out-of-jail-free card. It’s not. We are to live godly lives, walk away from worldly desires, grow closer to and become more like Jesus Christ. Ok, so let’s redefine grace from earlier. Grace means unmerited, unearned, undeserved favor; favor bestowed upon sinners who deserved death. We deserved death when we were chosen by God and given the opportunity to accept grace and make Him our savior of our lives. When we hear the Gospel of grace and as falling sinners for what God does for us, if we don’t understand what God has done for us, then the Gospel is not good news. Grace is not good news if we don’t understand it. Yancey states the following: "God dispenses gifts, not wages. None of us gets paid according to merit, for none of us comes close to satisfying God's requirements for a perfect life. If paid on the basis of fairness, we would all end up in hell... In the bottom line realm of ungrace, some workers deserve more than others; in the realm of grace the word 'deserve' does not even apply.” Grace, it not just a table prayer. Grace is unmerited and undeserving forgiveness only by God thru Christ for us fallen folks. It is the way God give us favor; his motive to forgive our sins and offer salvation. God loves us so much that for the sake of his only one begotten son, Jesus Christ, he encapsulates us in his love that he forgives us and gives us grace over and over again. I’ve heard it said that grace is a way of life and I think I am beginning to understand that meaning.
when I feared that people would take advantage of grace and use it as an excuse " well I'm saved by grace" I tgought that I could shomehow protect God and His Gospel from being abused. When I feared that people would take advantage of grace and use it as an excuse “well, I’m saved by grace” I thought that I could somehow protect God and His Gospel from being abused. I realized this came from the potential in my own heart to abuse it. That’s what is so graceful about grace sometimes- it reminds me of my foolishness without yelling it out on the street corners through a bullhorn. I have come to realize that maybe I did not believe that God can be this good, that he would possibly be gracious enough to forgive me. It’s not that I distrusted God but myself. It’s as if I committed so many sins that I was maybe unforgiveable. This did not make God less willing or able to give me grace. It’s just that I was not receiving it the way He had planned for us. Yes it sounds like a joke, me protecting Him. I used to get really angry and upset when I knew others who profess to be Christians were abusing grace. There is no way this is my job. I cannot protect God for He is the true creator and protector. I have to accept that God’s wisdom is higher than my own, that He does not need me, my help or for me to protect Him from His own ways but rather to continue to ask him to help me as I grow in grace and sanctification.
Grace, seems as though it has become a get-out-of-jail-free card. It’s not. We are to live godly lives, walk away from worldly desires, grow closer to and become more like Jesus Christ. Ok, so let’s redefine grace from earlier. Grace means unmerited, unearned, undeserved favor; favor bestowed upon sinners who deserved death. We deserved death when we were chosen by God and given the opportunity to accept grace and make Him our savior of our lives. When we hear the Gospel of grace and as falling sinners for what God does for us, if we don’t understand what God has done for us, then the Gospel is not good news. Grace is not good news if we don’t understand it. Yancey states the following: "God dispenses gifts, not wages. None of us gets paid according to merit, for none of us comes close to satisfying God's requirements for a perfect life. If paid on the basis of fairness, we would all end up in hell... In the bottom line realm of ungrace, some workers deserve more than others; in the realm of grace the word 'deserve' does not even apply.” Grace, it not just a table prayer. Grace is unmerited and undeserving forgiveness only by God thru Christ for us fallen folks. It is the way God give us favor; his motive to forgive our sins and offer salvation. God loves us so much that for the sake of his only one begotten son, Jesus Christ, he encapsulates us in his love that he forgives us and gives us grace over and over again. I’ve heard it said that grace is a way of life and I think I am beginning to understand that meaning.
when I feared that people would take advantage of grace and use it as an excuse " well I'm saved by grace" I tgought that I could shomehow protect God and His Gospel from being abused. When I feared that people would take advantage of grace and use it as an excuse “well, I’m saved by grace” I thought that I could somehow protect God and His Gospel from being abused. I realized this came from the potential in my own heart to abuse it. That’s what is so graceful about grace sometimes- it reminds me of my foolishness without yelling it out on the street corners through a bullhorn. I have come to realize that maybe I did not believe that God can be this good, that he would possibly be gracious enough to forgive me. It’s not that I distrusted God but myself. It’s as if I committed so many sins that I was maybe unforgiveable. This did not make God less willing or able to give me grace. It’s just that I was not receiving it the way He had planned for us. Yes it sounds like a joke, me protecting Him. I used to get really angry and upset when I knew others who profess to be Christians were abusing grace. There is no way this is my job. I cannot protect God for He is the true creator and protector. I have to accept that God’s wisdom is higher than my own, that He does not need me, my help or for me to protect Him from His own ways but rather to continue to ask him to help me as I grow in grace and sanctification.
6.06.2011
Child Believe
When God wants you to s l o w down and you don't, he makes you. The last few months have been interesting to say the least. Much has occurred in my heart in the last three months- more than I ever imagined. Some positive and well some not so positive. In the process of trying to answer some of the questions from the last blog, I've realized more of myself, my faith and passion for life. To some questions I've come to conclusions and to others I trust they will be answered through this journey.
This verse has appeared on places, things, walls, random websites quite frequently.
"This is the day the LORD has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it."
This is the year the Lord has made... is what keeps repeating over and over again in my mind. In the last three months; I have grieved a really close friendship, made the decision to step down from leadership from younglife after 7.5 years and now been in two car accidents in 3 weeks- one of them injuring me.
This is the year the Lord has made.
Starting today June 6, 2011 I am starting a lifestyle change of taking care of myself. For years, I have made sure others were taken care of, were doing good, well fed, emotional healthy. I have used up a lot of energy helping others; and not that any of that is bad... but it gets tiring and wears people out. I'm worn out. Tired. And spiritually drained. The Lord tells me to come to him, all of us who are weary and heavy laden and He will give me rest. I have chosen that this year will be a time of getting filled, spending a lot of time with the Lord, saying no to a lot of things and enjoying life. With all of this, I am also choosing to have a lifestyle change in my health as well. I desire to be healthy, to not dislike what I see in the mirror; but if I don't do anything to get there... I just can't expect things to magically change. It will take time, hard work but this is what I want.
This is the year the Lord has made.
Rest. Renewal. Realization. Rejuvenation. Reflection. Relaxation. This year I will be taking time away from serving and will not be filling up my calendar. It may seem selfish to others, but I've given more than I have been filled with and can no longer do it. It's great to serve and do things for others and even for the Lord, but sometimes ministry and serving take our focus away from our Savior, our Redeemer, our King of Kings and Lord of Lords.
This the year the Lord has made.
I will walk in it, and once in a while world, I will include you from this blog and the occasional tweets. The Lord has brought my life to slow down a lot in the past few months... especially in the last three weeks. He has called me to take an R&R and I will obey.
This verse has appeared on places, things, walls, random websites quite frequently.
"This is the day the LORD has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it."
This is the year the Lord has made... is what keeps repeating over and over again in my mind. In the last three months; I have grieved a really close friendship, made the decision to step down from leadership from younglife after 7.5 years and now been in two car accidents in 3 weeks- one of them injuring me.
This is the year the Lord has made.
Starting today June 6, 2011 I am starting a lifestyle change of taking care of myself. For years, I have made sure others were taken care of, were doing good, well fed, emotional healthy. I have used up a lot of energy helping others; and not that any of that is bad... but it gets tiring and wears people out. I'm worn out. Tired. And spiritually drained. The Lord tells me to come to him, all of us who are weary and heavy laden and He will give me rest. I have chosen that this year will be a time of getting filled, spending a lot of time with the Lord, saying no to a lot of things and enjoying life. With all of this, I am also choosing to have a lifestyle change in my health as well. I desire to be healthy, to not dislike what I see in the mirror; but if I don't do anything to get there... I just can't expect things to magically change. It will take time, hard work but this is what I want.
This is the year the Lord has made.
Rest. Renewal. Realization. Rejuvenation. Reflection. Relaxation. This year I will be taking time away from serving and will not be filling up my calendar. It may seem selfish to others, but I've given more than I have been filled with and can no longer do it. It's great to serve and do things for others and even for the Lord, but sometimes ministry and serving take our focus away from our Savior, our Redeemer, our King of Kings and Lord of Lords.
This the year the Lord has made.
I will walk in it, and once in a while world, I will include you from this blog and the occasional tweets. The Lord has brought my life to slow down a lot in the past few months... especially in the last three weeks. He has called me to take an R&R and I will obey.
3.30.2011
Questions
My mind has been thinking for what i feel like is faster than the speed of light. Anyone else have this issue sometimes? I have been in an interesting season in my life. I'm 26... and have been for a few months now... and I feel like I have more questions about life than ever before. I decided to start writing them down. If any of you have any answers, want to have a discussion or have been thinking about similar questions.. please feel free to comment away. It is humbling to write some of these.... so please if you have something rude to say just don't say it. Some are general, some are specific and some might just surprise you like they have me.
What is the meaning of life?
What questions to do you ask yourself daily?
Do people really know who you are?
Have you ever lied about something crucial in your life?
Does your room inspire you?
Have you ever been to afraid to pursue your dreams?
Do you have dreams and goals in life?
Can a Christian be in a homosexual relationship?
What is your level of consciousness?
Who are you?
What is your favorite day of the week?
Do you love yourself?
What is your ideal career?
What do you fear most in life?
Have you ever lost someone you loved?
Did someone walk out of your life for no reason?
Do you read a Bible?
What's the worst thing that you think has ever happened to you?
What limiting beliefs are you holding on to?
Do your beliefs limit you from doing something?
What good habits to you wish to cultivate?
What is your inner dialogue like?
What is your ideal home look like?
If you were a car, what kind would you be?
Are you easy?
Do people impress you?
If you died tomorrow what would be your biggest regret?
Is the Bible in agreement with what you believe?
What or who has priority in your life?
Have you ever been so hurt you stopped being hurt?
Do you cry yourself to sleep?
What is your outlet to let off steam?
As a Christian, when you live in sin, how many times before you are thrown away to the fire?
Why do we have favorite colors?
How does your favorite color make you feel?
What were you busy with today?
How can you make your life more meaningful?
Is Jesus more than a curse word to you?
What five people do you spend the most time with?
Are they enabling you or holding you back?
Where does nougat come from?
What is the worst thing you have ever done to someone?
Which move in rock, paper, scissors wins most often?
Do you really like the taste of beer or do you drink socially?
Why do people feel the need to use drugs?
Did you know that elephants cannot jump?
Why do battery letters skip from A to C?
Why are fire engines red?
Was Turkey a bird or a country first?
Does anyone have any blackmail against you?
Do you believe in God?
How come we can't tickle ourselves?
Why is the blood in our bodies red?
Did you know that pineapple prevents Jell-o ( gelatin) from forming into a solid?
Do you want to have children?
Have you ever hit someone?
Is there a time when you purposefully ignored someone to be mean?
How often do you pray?
If you call yourself a Christian do you think you can still go to hell?
Is the baptism of the holy spirit for today?
Is there a second chance for salvation after death?
What scares you?
What is the meaning of life?
What questions to do you ask yourself daily?
Do people really know who you are?
Have you ever lied about something crucial in your life?
Does your room inspire you?
Have you ever been to afraid to pursue your dreams?
Do you have dreams and goals in life?
Can a Christian be in a homosexual relationship?
What is your level of consciousness?
Who are you?
What is your favorite day of the week?
Do you love yourself?
What is your ideal career?
What do you fear most in life?
Have you ever lost someone you loved?
Did someone walk out of your life for no reason?
Do you read a Bible?
What's the worst thing that you think has ever happened to you?
What limiting beliefs are you holding on to?
Do your beliefs limit you from doing something?
What good habits to you wish to cultivate?
What is your inner dialogue like?
What is your ideal home look like?
If you were a car, what kind would you be?
Are you easy?
Do people impress you?
If you died tomorrow what would be your biggest regret?
Is the Bible in agreement with what you believe?
What or who has priority in your life?
Have you ever been so hurt you stopped being hurt?
Do you cry yourself to sleep?
What is your outlet to let off steam?
As a Christian, when you live in sin, how many times before you are thrown away to the fire?
Why do we have favorite colors?
How does your favorite color make you feel?
What were you busy with today?
How can you make your life more meaningful?
Is Jesus more than a curse word to you?
What five people do you spend the most time with?
Are they enabling you or holding you back?
Where does nougat come from?
What is the worst thing you have ever done to someone?
Which move in rock, paper, scissors wins most often?
Do you really like the taste of beer or do you drink socially?
Why do people feel the need to use drugs?
Did you know that elephants cannot jump?
Why do battery letters skip from A to C?
Why are fire engines red?
Was Turkey a bird or a country first?
Does anyone have any blackmail against you?
Do you believe in God?
How come we can't tickle ourselves?
Why is the blood in our bodies red?
Did you know that pineapple prevents Jell-o ( gelatin) from forming into a solid?
Do you want to have children?
Have you ever hit someone?
Is there a time when you purposefully ignored someone to be mean?
How often do you pray?
If you call yourself a Christian do you think you can still go to hell?
Is the baptism of the holy spirit for today?
Is there a second chance for salvation after death?
What scares you?
3.07.2011
a million miles in a thousand years
Are you living a great story with your life? from Donald Miller on Vimeo.
Do it. Grab yourself a copy of this book, head to your nearest coffee shop on a rainy afternoon and read.
It's good for your soul.
2.16.2011
26
I turn 26 in 2 hours. It's a little crazy to think about. I'm thinking it's going to be the best year so far. A lot happened in 25. There was some challenges, some changes and lots of growth.
Its important to reflect on our lives and look forward to what is ahead. Things I'd like to see come forth in this next year not in any particular order:
enter a photo into a photography contest
become a person of good humor and frequent laughter
mend broken relationships
lose 40 lbs
be more active & athletic again
fall in love w/ an amazing man of God
take 5 girls to camp whose life become transformed
run a 5k
learn & speak more Spanish
go to Costa Rica/ visit a friend in another country
surf and enjoy it
visit Portland, Eugene, Bend, & Seattle
memorize the book of Philippians
pray more
be in good physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health
Its important to reflect on our lives and look forward to what is ahead. Things I'd like to see come forth in this next year not in any particular order:
enter a photo into a photography contest
become a person of good humor and frequent laughter
mend broken relationships
lose 40 lbs
be more active & athletic again
fall in love w/ an amazing man of God
take 5 girls to camp whose life become transformed
run a 5k
learn & speak more Spanish
go to Costa Rica/ visit a friend in another country
surf and enjoy it
visit Portland, Eugene, Bend, & Seattle
memorize the book of Philippians
pray more
be in good physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health
1.19.2011
1.16.2011
1.10.2011
I've never left you. Child believe.
o this can’t be enoughwhen i’ve hurt You so much
and now i am asking for You to do more
i want to cry, but i can’t
i try to stand but i fall down again
i need You to carry me
( song from Jenny & Tyler)
1.06.2011
1.05.2011
1.04.2011
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