Twenty-Ten Recap

J.Tree 2.10
JJ Heller concert
25th Bday
WC weekend
J.Knapp concert
Bauer Wedding
Canon T2i purchase
Baptism
AZ Trip
Krista's Bday
Buck Wedding
Taking kids to Lost Canyon
Dicken Wedding
the 1670 Move
Leadership Weekend
1st Route 52 Club
Jacob Wedding
OM Chile
Party w/ a Purpose
Garvey Wedding
Christmas & Thanksgiving
New Years & Arizona Trip

His L.O.V.E. is all I need.

All I Need
Written by Shawn McDonald

As I sit here and think
About all that You've done
About how You gave me Your one and only Son
And I'm trying to fathom
All that You are, but so far, Lord
You're so beyond me
I fall down in reverence
And I fall down in fear
And I'm asking You, Lord, won't You please draw near
Won't You open my eyes
So that I can see
The way that You are working in me
All I need is Your love
To come and fill this heart of mine
My heart is a desert that has gone dry
And I need Your love to carry me by, by, by, by, by
To carry me by, by, by, by, by
To carry me by
And I lay down my life
And I put it before You
All that I am is in Your hands
And I'm not going to question, why You're so faithful
Why that You give me the blessing that You have
Let the glory be known, let the glory be shown
Lift You up unto the throne
You are my God, You are my King
To You I give, I give You everything
All that I need is Your love, my God

Marvelous Light- He and not I

Chile has been an incredible expierence that I doubt I will be able to put into words. My team is such an unique group, nothing I expected but so much more than I could have dreamed of. So much realizations have ocurred and I know there will be more by the end of the trip. My eyes have seen things I have never imagined nor can express the overwhelming feeling I have been taken over by. First week I struggled with why the Lord had called me here to this particular place and country. It´s beautiful- no doubt. I have seen some of the most beautiful and most sad things in my life. I can´t fathom the things my mind and my heart are thinking or feeling. I can see myself here long term but it would take some time to get used to.
Yesterday we were in a small village of the Mapuchu people who are the old Indians of Chile and they live in the mountian sides. We went door to door evangelism but by door to door I mean walking a few miles before we get to the next house. It was some of the most incredible views of the city. The first family invited us into their home and we chatted for maybe an hour. This is extremely common here. People are very open. You knock, they open and in a matter of 20 minutes you are connected. The father of the family was taken back and became emotional because he said no one has ever come to visit them they did not know... much less six international missionaries. It was an incredible expierence to be with them. The father of the family was the spokesperson and shared that his father was an evangelical christian but he had walked away and did not practice much faith and did not take his family to church. We invited them to a small church welcome and service and they came. I had chills on my entire body when I saw them at church. Their faces were glowing. I could not capture that on camera although I wished to so much. I have realized one thing for sure that no matter how much I try I can´t capture the images before me on a camera lens as well as the Lord has allowed me to do so with my two eyes.

Bright like a *

This weekend I was extremely hesitant to go on a leaders weekend retreat, but I walked away the most happy from any of the weekends I have ever been too. Thank you Lord for the way you continuously open my eyes to the things and ways you will prepare me for the future. A band called Gates played worship for us all weekend and the lead singers voice was incredible. He made it easy to fall quickly into the time of worship and praise. One of the songs they sang was Reflection by Urban Rescue. Below are some of the lyrics and how simple but great they are, it's going to be added to my daily prayers to be His reflection.

I wanna burn bright like a star in the night
Fall, fall, and surrender it all
Sing awhile
And believe like a child
I just want to be your reflection.

I wanna burn bright like a star in the night
Fall, fall, and surrender it all
Sing awhile
And believe like a child
I just want to be your reflection.

Because when you shine
I come alive
I'm on fire for you
I'm on fire for you.

Chi chi chi

Le Le Le!

My adventure to Chile has already began. I knew that there would be some unforeseen things that would come up prior to me leaving but I never thought I would lose thing I already had. Lets start from scratch.

I have never lost a legal document before. I mean really.
I've misplaced things don't get my wrong... but to right down lose something important- never!
So since I applied to the trip, I have lost my passport and my SS card. Awesome.
Yes, I know what you are thinking....what a clumsy and non-organized lady. K. Stop judging.

It's official. It's lost. I've looked in every mouse corner of property that I own or rent and nada.
Nowhere to be found. Yes, I know what you're thinking... NBD... apply for a new one.

Well... that's what you think. It's complicated!

To make a long story longer... my mother and I haven't becomes the best of friends the last two years... in fact the polar opposite. I won't get into that much, but being the most intelligent person on the planet- she believes that I sold my passport. Can you imagine what she will think about my SS card? Ha Ha!

Fast-forward. She won't allow me to get the safe deposit key to get my birth certificate to apply for a passport.
So I have had to take the longest shortcut to getting a new passport.
Applied for a new birth certificate. Check. Get notarized. Check. Purchase & shipping. Check. Apply for lost SS card. Get assisted in 5 mins @ SS office downtown (took me longer to walk there) Check. Get offered a Mexican passport 3 times on my way home. Check! Receive birth certificate in 2 days. Check.

Applying for new passport.. pending next week with paycheck.

God has been revealing so much to me about myself in this trip and how much I need to trust Him.
Initially with all this paperwork issues, I would normally just walk away and think I'm not supposed to go.

Next week: Pray. Get expedited passport & send out support letters! :) Excited to share more as hot off the press news and praises come in.

Broken I Come to YOU

All the walls you built up
Are just glass on the outside
So let 'em fall down
There's freedom waiting in the sound
When you let your walls fall to the ground
We're here now

This is where the healing begins, oh
This is where the healing starts
When you come to where you're broken within
The light meets the dark
The light meets the dark

Afraid to let your secrets out
Everything that you hide
Can come crashing through the door now
But too scared to face all your fear
So you hide but you find
That the shame won't disappear

Sparks will fly as grace collides
With the dark inside of us
So please don't fight
This coming light
Let this blood come cover us
His blood can cover us

Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

This is the fundamental characteristic of a Christian & a citizen of the kingdom.
Empty.
We cannot be filled until we are first empty. You cannot fill with new wine a vessel which is partly filled already with old wine, until the old wine has been poured out.

Cast me not away from your presence o Lord and take not thy Holy Spirit from me.

Repentance

I'm fellin' skitzophrenic maybe I ain't saved
cause I gotta get high just to block out all the pain
seen death, seen hurt seen a whole lotta thangs
instead of running from it I'm running away from change
it's like I'm outside in the ice cold weather
the rains coming down and I keep getting wetter
I know I'm getting sick and I could die any second
but still I refuse to let your truths make me better
I'd rather eat flies and maggots instead of bread
and its killing me slow but I cant get it through my head
you were stabbed you were murdered and for me is why you bled
but I spit on your bloody face as If I never cared
And Lord how dare I compare my pain
your father turned his back and you were left to hang
I don't know why you did it that I cant explain
how can you love this sinner whose desecrated your name
Lord I deserve the flames
-lecrae

Don't put a period where a comma belongs.

Imagine being 10 years old, when your body is at it's most awkward moments, your childhood is confusing, tragic and headed for failure as any almost teen in the hood of Los Angeles. As if most of these concerns were not hard enough to manage, you have a mother who always reminds you that you are overweight.
Sadly, this is nothing new to me. The first time someone called me a name was when I was eight years old. It was my own sister, her nickname for me: pig. Gee thanks twin sister, I love my nickname and would love for you to call me by that all the time- no need to ask; it already was happening.
It's never been easy to be a twin sister, much less to a sister who has never been an ounce over 110lbs in her life, who has never struggled with her weight and never had such a dreadful name.
So there I was set, at an early age of eight years old that I would be good at everything that I do because I will never be good at one thing in my life. The only thing my mom seemed to want from me. The one thing I was told would bring me the most peace and happiness. The one thing that would make my mom the most proud.
Unfortunately this is all true. Graduating from high school with honors, getting scholarships, getting my B.A, and having a great full-time job will never be good enough for my mother.
A year ago, I had the worst conversation I have ever had with my mother. By conversation if you understood 10 minutes of the worst name calling, degrading words used to talk to your daughter and tell her how much you dislike who she has become and how you're glad at least one of your daughters turned out well, then we are on the same page. I had never hung-up on my mother. That day I did just that.
I clicked that phone. I felt so guilty. I felt so lame. For the next six months, I never once picked up that phone to call my mother.

this isnt enoough for me

I have been doing a lot of thinking and I
found out that I am not ok with the
way it seems like everybody just blindly living their life
doing what they think they're
supposed to but never really ever l i v i n g
And no no no, this isn't enough for me
I'm so bored of being bored I
want adventure, I want to see the unseen
I'm so sick of entertaining
my own mind
so i
don't have to think and
Im so tired of people telling me what I want, what I need
they dont know me, and
no no no, this isnt enough for me and
oh no no no, this doesnt satisfy me
I dont want the american dream
i got my own
its got
nothing to do with getting money and getting more
And never asking what my life is really for.

pasatiempo favorito

why i love photography is because it allows me to capture moments forever.
when i look back I can see, hear, feel, and smell those exact moments.
it can take me years back and cast me forward.
it allows me to be at terms with God's eye level; to see things the way He does.
the stillness or the moving remind me of different seasons in our lives.
this year i don't want to react to life's events. i want to be proactive.
i want to focus on the miracles of each day; to live simply and obey my Lord.
there is healing in photography and that is what it does for me.
i dont choose a style. i just shoot and go.
i love photography because with some simple clicks, i make memories forever.
they dont remind me of painful days, or regretful ones, they remind of my joy & happiness.
my inner peace.
when i look at people, places or things, i see them thru a lens.
i see imperfect people in perfectly captured pictures.
i believe that anything can be made beautiful thru a lens.
i dont take perfect nor remarkable photos, but i do my best.